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Name: Toph
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Waco
Gender: Male
Interests: trying to truly live every moment....poetry...late night conversations...being there....kids of all ages(0-93)...tennis and basketball...foreign films...coffee..."The Man"...and true t-shirts
Expertise: good music(which very rarely includes country)...grace...over-analyzing...P.F. Chang's...and understanding people
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/3/2004
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| I have been thinking a lot about kingdom's and idols recently, and how often I dont think of these things enough. The poem below is something I wrote over two nights during our mid-week worship service here in Alabama. The message each night spoke to the times in our life when things aren't easy, and we must remember; "this is not it..." For now, this will suffice to explain where I've been, something of where I am, and the assurance of where I am going. In Darkness I Sit In darkness I sit, where death has overtaken me I can’t bare this hell alone, So come quickly, come quickly to save me Even though Columbus is far behind I still carry the weight of it all I cant seem to shake the dust of my feet And leave it in Texas, No one should hold onto the night I know I don’t have to feel joy today For tomorrow will be here soon And even if joy is yearly fading away I know I will rejoice in my grave This is the moment I feel weak My heart has to remind me to breathe So relay a message to my soul That all I know is not all I know So I surrender all All I am My death and my glory My breath and my story I surrender all This is the moment I feel weak My heart has to remind me to breathe So relay a message to my soul That all I know is not all I know Walking to Alabam I am hoping with my heart in my hand My feet drag, my words hesitate to praise Yet I’m here following your ways And it seems Lurleen Wallace will lead me home Be still my soul Breathe deep this time Listen well my heart Live free and die hard So Columbus will fade But so will Alabama, Thailand, and this praise Grace is on Lurleen with her sign Pointing to the narrow road | | |
| Sometimes I wished I lived on a farm. Think about it for a moment: a constant change of seasons with the knowledge of what each season's purpose is for; tangible evidence of your labor; enjoying the fruit of the harvest; work and rest needed in each day; and the need to depend on others for a succesful harvest. I am sure there other things that would be great about living on a farm, but these are what come to mind right now. Now, I know many of you are thinking: "what in the world is Toph talking about? Why does he want to live on a farm?" That is a great question, and I will attempt to answer below.
"The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved." - Jeremiah 8:20
"Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame." - 1 Corinthians 15:34
"Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raise impershable, and we will be changed."
- 1 Corinthians 15:51-52
I feel like over the last three years the Lord keeps reminding me of the urgency of the Gospel, and the fact that one day the harvest will be over. These verses above have been on my heart and mind recently, and help to explain the reason I think it would be beneficial to live on a farm for a while. What if we were so sensitive to the Spirit we could know each season of life we were in. We could know this is a season of receptivity and plant the seeds strong, or we could know this is the winter and we need prepare ourselves for the summer. What if we could always see the tangible evidence of the Word planted in other's lives. What if we took more time to celebrate the harvest season, and celebrate the firstfruits of our labor. What if we were more conscious of own souls, knowing when we need to rest and knowing when it is time to struggle with all His energy so powerfully working in us. And what if we lived in a constance state of awareness of our own limitations, knowing we work together as a body, not as an individual. I guess what I am saying is that I would like to have a farmer's mindset. I would like to have a deeper understang of all the parables Jesus tells about soil, fruit, and harvest, and how all these give us a better picture of the Kingdom.
Lord, may I always be sensitive to the season of life I am in. I know I am always called to be prepared to give an answer in season and out of season, but I also know we go through different seasons of life. Lord make me aware of my own need for rest, for Sabbaths in my life. Lord may I always live my life in a way in which those around me have no option of being ignorant of God. Lord, may I live for your glory and your glory alone. Lord, i want to be a farmer, I want to sow seeds of righteousness, I want to reap what I have sown, I want to be discerning in my planting, sowing, and harvesting, I want to know the soils in which I deal with everyday, and I want to celebrate the fruit of the harvest as your bring it about. Lord of the harvest, teach me.
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| Today I was reflecting on a poem I wrote some time ago, and with in this particular poem there is a certain line that has captured my attention: "there is an urgency in my heart, an urgency to see you soon." I feel like I have been made more aware of the urgency of the Gospel recently. I have been reading in Jeremiah 2 and Luke 12. In Jeremiah 2 :5 it says: "This is what the LORD says; "What fault did your fathers find in me, that they strayed so far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves." Then in Luke 12:35-48 Jesus tells a parable about keeping watch for the Master. As I reflected on these verses and these passages, I have become more aware of the urgency to "stay close and clean," as my father would say. So many days I find my self chasing after idols, less wild lovers, unholy affections, etc.... The passage in Jeremiah puts a holy fear in me that I keeping my heart, soul, mind, and strength fixed upon the Lord. I think what scares me most is recoginizing the truth in the Lord's question to Israel: "what fault did your fathers find in me that they strayed so far from me?" What fault can I find in the Lord, yet I strive after lesser things. What have I found on this earth that the Lord does not possess ten fold, yet I find myself settling. My prayer is my devotion will be pure and steadfast, and I will not become worthless myself.
In the Luke passage I am reminded again to be a watchful servant. We have been entrusted to share in the royal responsibility of taking care of what God has entrusted us, which means we are loving our neighbors as ourselves. The last verse of this passage is what hits home during this season of busyness: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Lk. 12:48b) As a collective group we are enjoying a season of the Lord's favor, and I am personally enjoying a season of the Lord's favor. While I rejoice in this, I am humbled to know with much favor/responsibility comes much expectation to handle blessings wisely. I think I have prayed more for discernment over the last 3 weeks than I have in quite some time. My prayer is that we will continue to be wise with the Lord's blessings, and we will be quick to listen to His direction. | | |
| Two weeks ago today I began a season of life in Alabama. Sometimes we begin seasons and we do not know how long they will last, whether that is a new job, relationship, ministry, etc..., and sometimes we begin seasons and know the time frame. I began this journey in Tuscaloosa knowing I will leave in November for Thailand, and return to Truett to finish my MDiv in 08'. As I prepared my heart for this season, there was a holy anticipation of what the Lord was stirring in me, and I knew He was doing huge things at Calvary in Tuscaloosa. Little did I know then that the Lord would completely floor us with His favor, mercy, and grace during the first two weeks of school. I have been here less than two weeks, yet I have seen a thousand college students sing about revival. I have seen over 300 come to study the Word on Sunday morning. I have seen kids who are passionate about His renown ride buses all day just to tell people about what the Lord is doing.
There is much more to tell, but I want to reflect a little on the things mentioned above. The two things that keep running throuh my head as I try to understand, comprehend, and soak in everything that is happening are: holy anticipation and holy fear. It is impossible to walk among these students and this ministry without recognizing our God is showing us favor during this time. I cherish this season, but I also fear this season (in a good way). Anytime the Lord shows His people favor, He expects passion and obedience, and the glory. Humanity has an awful way of trying to make things all about us, or talking us into the belief we have something to do with this movement. It is only the Lord's grace and favor that any of this is happening right now. My fear is that we will grwo prideful, and we will get so caught up in doing that we will forget to simply be in the moment. The book of Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books, and as we discussed it this summer I began to view it a little differently. One of the overall themse of Ecclesisastes is to "live in the moment." We eat, we drink, and we are merry because we fear God and keep His commandments. It is easy to have a holy anticipation during this season, but I must daily remind myself to keep a Holy Fear. We serve a jealous God, and we must be FULLY obedient to Him, and give Him all the glory, honor, and praise for what He is doing in this place.
Finally, I want to remind myself that this world I am in is not the world, and this church is not the Church. It is easy to get caught up in movements or moments and forget how unviersal our God is. He is moving mightily in Africa, Nicaragua, Thailand, China, the Philippines, Tennessee, Mississippi, California, and all over the globe. Our God is strong and mighty to save!!
Grace and peace to you. | | |
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9
By Damien Rice
Sleep Dont Weep
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In silence there is often an automatic reflection or reminiscent quiet that forcefully comes upon us. It is when we are silent that we are pushed and urged to reflect, remind, and remember all that we have done, are in, and where we are going. When the silence breaks words are not always necessary, but actions are. This is why so often we remain silent because we would rather stay remembering than act. It has been an intersting 2007 thus far. I had the opportunity to see my brother's family in later December, which means I was able to see the coolest kid in the world, Carson. I love being an uncle, and I love the times when I get to see my nephew. I have also spent much of the first part of the year reflecting and realizing I am still dealing with a lot of "fallout" from last summer. The Lord allowed me to experience so much last summer, but He has allowed me to walk through a very trying time. Honestly, I am often apathetic and do not want to fully deal with the gravity of last summer, but the beginning of this year has reminded me I must.
In other news, I have an absolutely wonderful girlfriend, who teaches me more about patience and unselfishness than I even admit to myself, let alone rarely tell her. It is always reassuring to know there are people in your life who truly desire and try to live out the light and love of Christ.
In random news, I hit a hole in one at The Lakes Country Club back in early December. Yes, there were witnesses, 8 of them to be exact. I have fallen in love with golf over the course of the last year, and it is quickly becoming my favorite sport. I will leave you with a picture of Carson, go ahead and drool because he is amazing!  
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